I now vow to study my arse off during this 2 weeks. To not move from my chair unless I know I've done something productive academically each day. To concentrate on what comes first - my education. To finish it off while I still can.
Wanna know why?Because I have, with great honesty, been slacking off in school.
And it didn't hit me yet when my not that super excellent macroeconomics test result came out.
Or when I failed to get that much needed full mark for my stats quiz. Or when I realized I'm doing things other than my studying (Like playing football manager - i dozed off playing this game last nite)
No way. I found out that i might get my arse sucked into a hell hole (the "other" hell hole - more dangerous than "that" one). I found out when I looked at people around me. When I see what they're up to, and what they're making of themself. This disillusional life you lead. The life of "There's always tomorrow", or "Things will sort out by itself", or whatever hell they're thinking of. Apparently, that is the sort of mentality i have adopted this year. You have all these... things. But then you're stuck, and you haven't realized it. It doesn't help that our batch isn't exactly the most hardworking one there is, or that produced the least number of dean's list recipient - it just makes you feel that what you're doing is right. When it's wrong. Like the usual discontent among my classmates on whatever things COEXIAS, my course club, is doing.
I've tried helping. But then I stopped. Don't know why, but I did. Maybe I got caught up with the current of how okay it is.Yet I look again and find that it's not. But this time I've got to help myself...
Overseas scholarship is on the line here...
