Thursday, June 17, 2010

Vuvuzela My Arse!

Unless you've been on planet Mars for the past week, you will know that the greatest show on Earth is well underway. For once, the sound of swarming locusts that is the "vuvuzela" did us men a "favour", for it has been masking the sounds of breaking hearts of millions of women from all over the world due to having their husbands'/boyfriends' attentions towards them stolen swiftly under their pretty oily noses by the one and only ultimate sporting event, the World Cup.

Definitely relationships have been put on hold and most likely suffered. Frankly, I don't care cause I'm single, and I'm determined to savour every minute of football on offer.

And, with regards to the vuvuzela, that "favour" happen to be the only "favour" it did to this year's World Cup. And even that is non-existent. Unless you've gone mental, you can't possibly hear the sound of a heart snapped into two can you??

Which leads me to this. For those who have been watching the World Cup in mute or just returned from Mars, the vuvuzela is a plastic horn that produces a monotonous din which can reach 144 decibel, which if it is blown in unison by 50 thousand people (for maximum effect, in a stadium), can equal the sound of a jet taking off. And even the sound of a jet taking off doesn't last for 90 minutes, plus the rest time in between two halves which I presume, is equivalent to the sound of hell.



Comments I've read about the noise that comes out from the vuvuzela though varied, have one common theme. The sound have been compared to...

"the noise of stampeding elephants, a goat on the way to slaughter and "a giant hive of very angry bees" - The Sun

"The raucous plastic trumpets (the vuvuzelas) have been accused of destroying World Cup spirit by preventing fans from singing uplifting traditional songs such as Ronaldo Is A Wanker, Henri Is A Wanker, Messi Is A Wanker, and the evergreen German favourite, Rooney Ist Eine Wenker." - hayibo.com, a political satire site

A facebook protest group called FIFA - BAN THE ANNOYING VUVUZELA (HORN) FROM THE SOUTH AFRICA WORLD CUP! was set up on June 11th this year, and has gathered 249000 (I'm one of them) angry fans as of 17th June and counting.

A friend named Syed Q. Hikma posted this in his fb status, "kalau vuvuzela tu orang, gerenti ramai dah tumbuk sampai pecah mulut~"

Even sensible South Africans themselves are appalled towards the vuvuzela die-hards (Sepp Blatter of Feefa and the selfish so called African nationalists who have no knowledge of the roots of the vuvuzela history, which is surprisingly a Mexican product), claiming that the selfish attitude of the host nation - acting as if they're the king of the world by hosting the event - towards the mounting complaints will only result in people hating them forever after the tournament ends and will ensure that the World Cup will never ever return to South Africa. Ever.

And I am already agreeing to the notion.

Ten hours ago, Diego Forlan became a hero not just for Uruguay but for football fans all around the world (except South Africa) with his brace which according to a fan, managed to reduce the vuvus by 80% and have reminded us all what a great football match feels like even for only 10 minutes.

So ladies and gentlemen, if vuvuzela has anything to do with the African culture, I dare say there is more culture in my yoghurt!

VUVUZELA MY ARSE!!!

By the way, I came across this video to cheer myself up a little...





Sunday, June 13, 2010

World Cup Fever Does Not Cause You to Have A Rise in Body Temperature, And Women in football Jerseys Look Hot!

Ok, I'm busy. And I haven't updated anything blog-worthy of late.

Though I do have many things to say, yet the feeling of wanting to put my thoughts on screen is rather taxing. Which gives an impression that I'm rather lazy. Haih.

In the meantime, as a way to analyze my academic progress, barring the last 2 sems, I bring you Zaid of the future, your result for semester 3.



Which brings us to this...
  1. It was stated that the result will come out at 12pm on June 10th, right after the Senate meeting. Whatever that meeting is about, they should have discussed about the UiTM server problem which caused thousands of UiTM students to stare at the screen in desperation, failing to even access their own student portal so that they can check their exam results. And it remained that way for about 12 hours plus, much to the horror of these people.
  2. It also led to a bunch of frustrated UiTM kids to create a facebook protest group, venting their anger at the social networking site. I lost the link to the group.
  3. I am not a part of that group.
  4. It took away most people's feeling of preresult-release anxiety and changed it with sheer feeling of frustration which usually leads to expletive-rich grumblings.
  5. Deep inside I was planning to murder whoever responsible for this.
The World Cup started 2-days back. And it somehow led me to these thoughts...

  1. Women in football jerseys look hot!
  2. Don't ever challenge a bunch of Brazilians to a game of park football. Ever.
  3. The vuvuzella should be banned. Or else I have to watch the games in mute.
  4. Come to think of it, if your girlfriend likes football, you're a happy couple.
  5. Maradona is a walrus.
  6. I should start playing "real" football. Dah lama tak main...

Not exactly football jerseys but these are fine saucy footy chicks ey? Another reason to support the Italians! FORZA ITALIAAA!!! I love you Italia chicks!!! xD



THIS is what I meant by jerseys :B


I don't think I have made any significant progress to my 79-item to-do list. So many still, yet so little time... damn!

And I think I've lost my writing skills...